Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Icky Tiga Puluhan - Kosong

Setelah sekian lama tidak menulis.

Dah lama tak menulis, Kenapa sekarang? 

Akhir sekali menulis ialah sekitar 2012, waktu itu cukup menginsafkan diri ini. 2011 aku berkahwin dan tahun 2012 merupakan tahun yang penuh dengan perkara baru, antaranya pertukaran kerja (dari Pemantau Media Siaran di KL ke guru Bahasa Inggeris di JB) dan lahirnya cahaya mata ku yang pertama,  Zaara Binti Ahmad Ikram. Waktu aktif menulis blog dulu aku cukup naif dan belum cukup terbuka mata dengan dunia. Topik-topik blog juga agak rencam dan kadang-kadang penuh dengan kemarahan yang tak tentu hala. 

Kini aku berumur 30 an, entah ada lagi yang membaca blog ini? Kali ini aku ingin mencurahkan segala perasaan yang tak dapat aku luahkan. Ini perlu, kerana mengenali diri ini, aku rasakan bahawa diri aku ini sebenarnya sukar difahami dan aku juga sukar menerangkan sesuatu perkara jika bukan dalam berbentuk tulisan. Mungkin tidak mengapa jika tiada sesiapa yang membaca, asalkan aku dapat meluahkan segala yang ada di hati ini, untuk diri sendiri.

Kini aku sudah mempunyai dua cahaya mata, Zaara dan Ellsa. Anak-anak inilah yang menerangkan hidup ini, yang sudah kelam kerana tak nampak hala tujunya. Kini hidup ku hanyalah untuk anak-anak, yang aku rasakan tanggungjawab yang sangat besar. Masa depan dua orang ini berada di tanganku, apa-apa keputusan dan tindakan aku akan memberi kesan kepada mereka.

Kini hidupku sebagai guru. Sebenarnya aku tidaklah mahu menjadi guru asalnya kerana aku tidak suka mengajar, apatah lagi matapelajaran Bahasa Inggeis (walaupun aku graduan TESL). Jiwa ku bukan disini. Aku dapat rasakan yang tarikan itu sangat kuat ke bidang seni muzik. Tapi apakah masa depan ku di bidang itu? Mampukah aku menyara hidup, menyara keluarga sekiranya aku memilih untuk berada di jalanan seni? Oleh itu aku dapat rasakan bahawa itulah keputusan terbaik, mendidik generasi muda dengan gaya tersendiri. Gaji pun agak lumayan berbanding kerja lain dan cuti juga banyak. Itulah yang aku kerap beritahu diri ini apabila tertekan dengan kerja dan kehidupan.

Tapi kini aku dapat rasakan yang hidup aku gelap. Aku ada segalanya, anak-anak, kelurga, kerjaya, rumah, kereta, kawan-kawan, dan sesekali ada juga bermain muzik bersama rakan-rakan. Cahaya-cahaya mata yang menerangi hidup ini bagaikan tidak cukup untuk menerangi kegelapan hati ini. Apakah puncanya? Mungkin aku patut berbalik pada agama, banyakkan membaca Al Quran atau mendalami ilmu agama. Aku bukan suami yang baik yang banyak kelemahannya. Aku gagal memimpin dengan sempurna. Bagaimana akhirat nanti?

Aku dapat rasakan sebenarnya aku bosan. Bosan dengan kerja, Bosan dengan rutin. Bosan kerana tidak dapat meluahkan apa yang aku hendak luahkan tanpa melukakan hati sesiapa. Bosan dengan kelemahan diri sendiri. Bosan kerana tidak nampak hala tuju. Aku mahukan hala tuju. Aku mahu berada di jalanan seni. Pada masa yang sama aku mahu kebajikan keluarga aku terjaga. Aku keliru.

Aku dapat rasakan yang aku juga kurang bersyukur. Ya aku bersyukur tapi kenapa aku masih rasa kosong? Itu tandanya aku tidak menghargai pemberian Tuhan. Ya Allah ampunilah aku, kerana begitu banyak dosaku pada Mu. Aku melakukan banyak dosa waktu ku muda, dan kini aku masih melakukan dosa. Aku telah mencuba pelbagai cara yang haram untuk mengubati kekosongan hati ini, dan aku menyalahkan pelbagai perkara dan pihak dek kekurangan diri ini. Patutkah begitu? Adakah aku mementingkan diri sendiri? Adakah aku sakit?

Aku akan teruskan menulis. Aku rasakan ini membantu aku menerangkan/melapangkan jiwa ini. Coretan-coretan yang akan datang juga akan cenderung ke pekara peribadi. Ini perlu. Sekian.


Monday, February 21, 2011

Katak

Di manakah kehidupan? Manakah garisannya?
Apakah kehidupan? Apakah bolanya?
Siapa tahu akan kehidupan? Jangan berpetak kepala.

Besar Kemaluan Saya

Yaaaa saya yakin anda tergerak hati untuk baca blog ini sebab tajuk di atas. Maaf, kemaluan yang dimaksudkan di sini bukanlah kata nama am.
Saya takkan cerita panjang pasal kemaluan saya.
Bangun pukul 11.30am di Klang. Kerja pukul 2pm di KL. Lambat.
Baju kemeja tak gosok. Seluar pun tidak. Apa lagi saya pun ambilah seluar jeans yang menyerupai seluar kerja, agak ketat ya saudara saudari. Maklumlah, isteri saya pandai memasak. Ehem.
Baju? Pakai jaket sudah. Kalau tak pakai apa2 pun bukan orang tahu. Seluar dalam saya pakai! Jangan monyet~ ofis sejuk.
Tiba di ofis awal. 1.50pm. Bagus.
Ngantuk. Buat Nescafe peQat. Duduk di meja kerja. Letak cawan kopi.
Perut buncit. Sendat. Rasa2nya... kalau buka butang dan zip dikira gangguan seksual di tempat kerjakah? Ah. Meja aku, bukan ada orang lain nampak pun.
Sedang ghairah menaip...PAP. Kopi tumpah atas meja. Er. Kaku jap. Er.
TISU! Bangun lari cari tisu.
Lupa. Belum butang dan zip seluar. Er. Er.
***
Saya lap meja sambil memikirkan apalah agaknya gelaran yang akan diberikan di belakang saya?
En. Starbucks? En. Nescafe? Harith Iskandar? Gloria Jeans...?? -_-

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Château de rêve

Dreams are always weird. The fact that you forget them is even weirder. Some dreams however, are so unforgettable, breathtaking and beautiful you wonder how your mind can come up with such things...

One of those dreams usually started out simple. Occurring events here and there, walking through houses, then suddenly...

I can see a huge plain and about two football fields in front of me stood a huge-ass tree-castle on a staircase-like hill, like the ones on golf courses, complete with a black gate and clear blue sky background.

This drawing sucks!

Laugh all you want. I'm not a painter. It is almost impossible to depict the "epic"ness and the greatness of the view. Only in dreams where you can grasp such depth and tone on what you see or experience...

To better understand the settings from your perspective, it could be explained this way:

Only 5 minutes a day for perfect abs

The black dots are houses, and the tree-castle stood at the bottom of a staircase-like hill. I think the huge-ass-castle-tree-in-front-of-a-huge-ass-plain is kind of a subconscious image mash up I saw from somewhere...hey wait a sec-

This is familiar...

???????
Even better!


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Gadis Cantik Idaman Pria

Aku tahu laman blog aku kurang menyerlah. Yalah, orang macam aku idea datang sekali sekala sahaja, nak tulis selalu pun rasa tak guna nak paksa minda aku ini. Kalau paksa2, maka tertulislah blog yang amatlah bosan sekali.

Alangkah bagusnya jika aku seorang gadis yang cantik, tulislah apa sahaja pun, orang pasti mahu baca, macam Hanis Zalikha~

Kalau aku perempuan cantik, ambiklah gambar lagak bagaimanapun, orang pasti mahu lihat, tak kiralah baru bangun dari tidur atau baru nak tidur. Agaknya muka tengah terberak pun ada orang nak tengok. Maklumlah, cantik.

Kalau perempuan cantik, bukan sahaja lelaki suka melihat, kaum hawa sendiri pun rasa teruja. "Eh, cantikla you, muke you cam Megan Musang." "I suke tgk u pakai tudung cam Yuna cumiiiill :))))))))))."

Bluek

Tapi kalau orang lelaki lainlah ceritanya, kalau kacak sangatlah, paling nak puji pun orang perempuan sahajalah, itupun yang gedik2. Kalau lelaki kacak pula... tak payah beranganlah, kalau lelaki lain puji, er, faham2 lah sendiri. Kalau perempuan itu pula cantik, maka tak payahlah nak puji lelaki kacak, biar lelaki itu sahaja yang datang, macam bunga menunggu kumbang~

Oh~ perempuan cantik~ begitu mudah kau mempengaruhi masyarakat~

Kalaulah aku perempuan cantik, tak payah belajar tinggi2 atau jauh2 atau besar2. Jadi sahaja model, paling tidak pun pelakon. Kalau boleh menyanyi lagilah, mata tambahan. Tak payah susah2 kerja, cari sahaja lelaki yang berkemampuan. Jangan dapat yang kurang berkemampuan di atas ranjang sudahlah.

Kalaulah aku perempuan cantik, akan aku berlagak sombong, Yalah, kalau sudah cantik, beramah mesra nanti orang kata aku ni wanita murahan, mana2 lelaki pun boleh~ tua atau muda, miskin atau kaya.

Oh tidak, tidak. Aku bukan wanita murahan. You want me? Show me the money~

Monday, January 10, 2011

THIS IS BELACAN!!!!!

The other day me n wifey went to Tesco to buy some groceries. When we went to look for belacan (prawn paste) we saw this:



Everything about it screamed awesome.From the colour contrast of metallic blue and gold, to the perspective lines surrounding a bell, with the iconic prawn and dragon emblem, it's as if Jackie Chan designed the packaging himself.

Usually, other belacan packaging are downright boring...







Presentation is very VERY important

Friday, October 8, 2010

At a Shop

(While looking around a salesgirl came to my dad...)

Salesgirl: Yes?
Dad: No

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

It's annoying when...

1. people tell me to stop wearing skinny jeans. You're probably jealous, cos you're fat
2. people ask me why i shave my head. That's like asking why women wear make up
3. people tell me to grow my hair. Bald issue again
4. people ask me questions that they can asnwer themselves
5. ugly people call other people ugly
6. people tell me the dangers of smoking. i've been hearing that for the past 23 years from my DOCTOR parents
7. a person don't shampoo their hair. I'm bald, and even i use shampoo
8. a person don't wear deodorant. IT'S THE 21st CENTURY FOR GOD'S SAKE!
9. a person wears huge-ass headphones and bobbing their head in public. Seriously, don't do that
10. a person comes up to you and start talking like they've known you for years. Stay away from me creep!
11. a person won't admit they've lost a match. LOSER
12. a person uses your own comeback against you. Ex: A:You're a dumbass B No, you're a dumbass
13. a person doesn't signal when driving. THE ULTIMATE ANNOYANCE

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Sounds the same to me...

Some of my friends have been complaining that metal music sounds pretty much the same, well i have to agree. Not that i agree that each metal song sounds the same with each other, any song that you hear in the same genre will sound pretty much the same. I mean, how thick can you get?? If its the same genre of the same type of music, of course it sounds the same!
How many times have you listened to classical songs and thought that it sounded familiar but in fact it actually came from two different songs? How about listening to R&B? What about pop songs? Emo?

Nowadays, its hard not to sound almost identical to another singer or band because we are in the future, stop living in the past! Now with all the technologies that we have, almost everything is fast and mass produced, and that goes to music as well. During the days when our parents were younger, artists have to wait for at least 2 to 3 years to come up with an album. Now, an artist can come up with 2 albums in one year due to the competition and technology that we currently have.

Plus, almost all types or genres of music have been dwelled into. Think people, how much more new music can we produce without exploiting what we already have?
So stop telling me that metal music sounds the same, cause i know they sound the same because i know why its that way!!

We may look the same, be we ain't the same shitz, b*tch!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Not A Gym Rat

Lately i've been paying frequent visits to the gym, mainly because i want to regain my fitness. I was afraid of becoming less and less fit each day due to my lifestyle; smoking, hours of time spent in front of my computer, nocturnal, and the lowering of my metabolisme.

When i was younger (ehem), i had super metabolisme. When i said super, i mean SUPER. I could eat anything, anytime without having to exercise and still be in shape. I used to eat tonnes of calories and it would just burn away when i sleep. Pretty neat huh?

Well i guess i dont have that anymore probably because im getting older, which sucks by the way. I miss my younger days when i can just eat and eat and eat and still wear size 29 pants.

Here is a picture of the gym i go to in Shah Alam, which is the gym in the UiTM main campus:


As you can see, there is only one towel in there, which is mine. That means no goes to the gym, and that also means i get to have the gym for my own. I like to think of it as my personal gym situated in UiTM.

So people, get fit! And work some ass off at the gym! Now!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Deuces




Ever played it? We usually call it Sho Tai Ti or Chinese Poker due to its Chinese origin.
Sho Tai Ti, or Choh Dai Di is what the game is called in Cantonese. In Indonesia, it is called Cap Sa while in Vietnam it is named Tien Len. People in USA and Australia calls it Thirteen.

As Malaysians, this game can be seen played everywhere, and youngsters usually play it at mamak restaurants when they got tired of talking during lepak hours. To some people, like me and my friends, we would meet up just to play Sho Tai Ti.

"You cheater!"

Some might be wondering as to where it originates, many agreed that it originates from Hong Kong. It is mainly popular in South East Asia countries like Malaysia, Singapore and Taiwan. Surprisingly, it is quite popular in Antartica too, especially among penguins. Ok, i may went a bit far on the penguin part.

"Oh shit, humans! Hide your cards, quick!"

What i love about this game is that it is really easy to learn, although getting to hang on the rules may be a pain, new players would get the hang of it after two or three games. And although it is easy to learn, the way the game is played is quite challenging. Instead of just lepaking and talking nonsense, playing Sho Tai Ti can stimulate minds as players have to remember quite a number of things; the valid combinations of cards, and how players have to use those combination to deal out cards and be the first to put downall their cards.

"The smallest is 3, the highest is 2, and there are some combinations that you can..."
"Zzzz..."

Sho Tai Ti is the best ice breaker when hanging out with new friends who doesn't talk much, or if you have a thing for somebody you like, teach him/her and show off. Spread the game, i guarantee that it is addictive and most importantly, fun!

"Hey there, Sho Tai Ti?"
"WHAT DID U CALLED ME?"

Where Have All The Goths Gone?

You know, there was a time in our country, where goths can be seen everywhere. They walk in packs, and wear goth clothes and make ups. I even saw a group of kids wearing the white jumpsuit costume from Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange, complete with the one eyed extension eyelash, bowler hat and cane. Oh how i wish i had a camera at that time, it was priceless!!


Imagine seeing these guys drinking iced Milo at mamak's


But now you rarely see them...at least not in packs. And from goths, they turn to emo or scene kids, with their fringes and tight shirts and jeans. Usually, these scene kids would be in couples, boy and girl, girl and girl or boy and boy! They rarely walk in packs nowadays...where are they now??
"This is my girlfriend"

I used to be one of those people who really despise these young ones, wondering what in the world were they thinking?? But now i kinda miss them...these kids, even though what they are doing is just a phase, it adds spice to what we see everyday. Back then when i go sightseeing in KL, i would see all kinds of people, dressed in different ways and some might consider to be overkill, but to me it is interesting, they are just normal people like us, they just want the attention, as a fashion statement...what's wrong with that?? We like to dress up as well, the only thing different about us is the way we perceive fashion, just like the difference of taste for food, music, lifestyle, etc...why mock them?? They're human too, just like us, and wants attention too, just like the majority of us! Stop being haters, seriously!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Buntal

Not my cat, he belongs to my bud Tawam.


You little devil you!








When Buntal is not playing with bottles, it would be your legs or feet...








Last night i was watching Avatar for the 5th round, when suddenly Buntal thought it would be a good idea to jump at me to get my attention....


Buntal hung onto my skin for at least 5 seconds

Darn it...


Monday, June 28, 2010

Guilty Pleasures

1. Farting in public and let other people pull faces

Who doesn't? I find altering a certain atmosphere of people intriguing

2. Watching other people caught in an embarassing situation

People falling down from steps, students who stepped in school drains, an anchor forgots the line...anything, as long as i find it funny

3. Listening to Justin Bieber from my walkman

Gulp

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Just the night


Distance....
Measurements...

Alone in this cupboard of a room i find myself feeling
Gassy trucks passes by along with the call
The scars sting as i write this piece

The beginning of a new day make way
As the face returns with a smile
The light is switched on
Another room is occupied

I accepted the handshake
Gesture tolerated, not forgotten
the misdeeds that you left upon us

Kitty keeps meowing


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Fly-Eating-Lamp


The future of disco...?

No, it is not a disco ball, and yes, it is a fly-eating-lamp.
Sorry?

Created by two designer braniacs from Brit, James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau crossed their swords together and sparked this horror of a lamp, which er... consume these unwanted pests and turn them into the energy to light up these lamps.

The devourer of life

For those who don't like creepy lamps, there's also creepy fly-eating clocks, creepy mouse eating table, and creepy U.V flykiller parasite robot (for entertainment, they say).



Behold, the flypaper robotic...clock...

If you look close enough, there's a teeny weeny small LCD which is great to be put at homes because we like to squint our eyes when we want to know what time it is.

Ahhh what would the world be without the wonders of science? I can actually see it, in the future, where the world will be overpopulated, and scientists would build a huge human devouring power plant...


"Howard have you seen Charlie?"
"Grinnell, Iowa needed electricity for at least another 30 years, so he went in."
"Good for Charlie!"

Find out more <=== click here!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Dyson DC31


Dyson DC31. It can suck your eyeballs out from 1 metre range (kidding)

Ain't that a beut? It also has 104 000rpm motor power, so don't leave it around for kids to play around with.

It is actually a vacuum cleaner and it looks like something you can use to kill off aliens of some sort... hey wait-a-sec...


I knew it! It looks a lot like the plasma rifle in Halo... the designer likes the game I assume.



Master Chief's anema device. Scary

Sunday, June 20, 2010

COATED TITANIUM RPS TECHNOLOGY

COATED TITANIUM RPS TECHNOLOGY??? WTF IS THAT???


Well, as far as I know, the titanium wraps around the ball end of the strings (guitarists should know this) to help reduce string slippage, breakage and keeps them in tune better than ordinary guitar strings.

OK, what it means here is that your strings last longer. Cool!

Nice packaging huh? Even the strings are gold coloured, all of 'em!!

Ordinary set of strings cost around RM 25, the ones I usually buy is around RM50 which are from Elixir, they are also very good because they coat their ENTIRE strings with this special coating which makes them 3 to 5 times longer than usual strings. BUT this one cost me RM65, and I assume would be better than Elixir. It better be!

Anyway, I'm very satisfied with the sound it produces, which is very bright and sharp . Though it was mistake to buy them smaller gauge because I prefer thicker strings, they have more 'balls'.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Semakin dekat, tetapi...?

Penghujungnya semakin dekat, adakah aku bersedia? Mahukah aku bersedia? Mahukah aku penghujung itu?

Monday, May 3, 2010

Ada Apa Dengan Skinny?

Apabila seseorang mengunjungi ke negara yang lain, perkara pertama yang akan diperhatikan ialah orang di negara itu, dan secara lumrahnya apabila seorang lelaki pergi ke negara lain, sudah tentu perkara pertama yang diperhatikan ialah perempuan!

Buat kunjungan kali ke-2 ke Indonesia, saya perhatikan gadis2 Indonesia masih cukup sukakan skinny jeans/tights. Saya tidak nafikan di Malaysia juga fesyen skinny ini turut menjadi pilihan di kalangan remaja dan orang dewasa, tetapi skinny jeans tidaklah dijadikan pilihan utama dalam pemilihan seluar. Di Indonesia, asalkan dalam kategori cewek, SEMUAnya memakai skinny ataupun tights.

Tidak percaya?


Perhatikan cewek di antara cowok2, skinny jeans


Di sekitar Tangkuban Perahu (gunung berapi yang masih aktif)


Skinny jeans merata-rata

Lagi cewek skinny jeans

MILF skinny jeans pun ada

Rear view, hehe


Cewek atas motor


Cewek bertudung, tetap dengan skinny

Cewek2 di Indonesia bergaya ke mana-mana sahaja mereka pergi, tak kiralah pusat membeli belah, pasaraya, pasar basah, lorong jalanan, di kawasan kampung, di depan rumah, di kedai2. Tidak seperti di Malaysia.

Untuk tatapan para gadis, takkanlah nak tunjuk cewek saja (Pengawal Safari Indonesia)

Maka, pengajarannya di sini ialah contohilah rakyat Indonesia, bergaya di mana-mana sahaja, tak kiralah miskin atau kaya.